“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”
“ The stories we live out are capable of alteration by fate, by the influence of others, and occasionally by conscious choice. The narrower the frame of consciousness, the greater the personal chronicle plays out as fate. As Jung has observed, what is denied inwardly, will come to us as fate. As we can only be partially conscious at best, much of the fate we would deny or decry, we have unconsciously elected. This is why patterns occur so often in one’s life, even though one is rationally obliged to admit that no one else made him or her choose that person, that path or that behaviour.”
GOD SAYS YES TO ME
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I’m telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
HEALING OUR JOURNEY INTO BETTER HEALTH
In times of deep suffering perhaps the only appropriate response that we can make is a patient, stoic one – maybe it’s the only one if we are to live at peace with ourselves in these troubling times. As Epictetus said: “What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.”
Curing is largely restorative, gaining back our former state of health. Healing is more about attitudinal shift, finding peace in the acceptance of what is.
Mindfulness is a body felt experience – an engagement with rhythmic, soft breath that eases us into a relaxed calm where healing is present.
We must accept the fact that healing should be the number one priority in our lives for without it we are reduced, diminished – made less than what we could be.
Positive affirmations, written, spoken and sung, on a regular basis can increase the presence of healing in our lives. Research supports this claim so why not give them a chance?
Our wounds and pain, anxieties and fear are all calls to go deeper within ourselves and explore their presence and meaning in our lives in order to gain insight into how we can transform them for a better future.
Healing always requires time to work its way into our lives so we must replace our often ‘quick fix’ expectations on recovery, that wants results straight away with a presence of mindfulness and patience, that allow the healing to take charge and not our over anxious minds.
Ultimately, despite all the emotional support we may receive from others we are accountable for our own progress into healing, knowing, deep inside us, that we only get out of healing what we put into it.
All our disappointments and dissatisfactions with our healing progress are ultimately ‘lessons‘ that can teach and shape us for better days.
Self-blaming, loading ourselves down with guilt because we believe we are somehow the ‘cause’ of our pain does not serve us well. Rather than engage with this damaging, devaluation of the self we should, instead, push forward and strengthen the mind positively, working actively to participate in a healing agenda that can turn our lives around.
If we pull back from our normal, over-active lives and just rest and relax in a mindful state of calming peace then healing will not be far away.
When healing enters our lives we must take good care of it and cherish its presence.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no
longer controls your life. ” Akshay Dubey
“Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.”
“However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society.”
“What is once well done is done forever.”
“No way of thinking or doing, however ancient, can be trusted without proof. What everybody echoes or in silence passes by as true today may turn out to be falsehood tomorrow, mere smoke of opinion, which some had trusted for a cloud that would sprinkle fertilizing rain on their fields.”
“Every man is the builder of a temple called his body.”
“There are nowadays professors of philosophy , but not philosophers….To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts , not even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity and trust.”
“ We know not where we are. Besides, we are sound asleep nearly half our time. Yet we esteem ourselves wise, and have an established order on the surface….[ Even as ] I am reminded of the greater benefactor and intelligence that stands over me the human insect.”
“ [ Walking miles ] through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines.”
“Men talk about bible miracles there is no miracle in their lives. Cease to gnaw that crust. There is ripe fruit over your head.”
HEALING: A STEP AT A TIME JOURNEY
If we treat healing as a peripheral matter, something that doesn’t get our attention much, something that is not quite important enough, something we may even possibly ignore at times then our progress along the healing path will be minimal.
We must accept our worthiness for healing; we must counter any negativity that surfaces within us that tries to tell us anything other than we are deserving of better.
Our hearts must come to rest in our healing, our minds must come to rest in our healing, and our bodies must come to rest in our healing.
Forgiveness seems to be an integral part of healing at times – forgiveness to others and importantly forgiveness to our selves for falling over in life and not always recognizing openings and opportunities that perhaps could have given us a more solid platform in life. The deep waters of forgiveness can bathe our aching wounds, can help us reach out for reconciliation – a new harmony.
Curing is one thing, healing is another. We may not always be ‘ cured ‘ but we can always be healed.
Be gentle with yourself, tolerant and accepting of your shortcomings and mistakes. We all slip up every so often but this is no reason to start adopting self-damaging, self-defeating dialogues that speaks of giving up. Indeed, in moments like these, moments of doubt and fear we must dig even deeper into our reserve and try to turn things around knowing that a breakthrough will be imminent.
If we are not healing properly, if we are not making any signs of real progress then it’s incumbent on us to check our lifestyle thoroughly and make the choices that will get us back on track.
Our pain and suffering are part of our journey but they are not the destination.
We always have to make ourselves fully available to open up to any healing that enters our lives.
Healing is a moment by moment process of compassionate giving and receiving that leads us to a place of inner calm and peace.
The healing of our wounds must take priority for us – believe this, absorb this, act on this for a better, brighter future. Like anything in life, healing change requires consistent, dedicated practice. Always give this your best shot.
When we consistently tell ourselves the story of or pain and wounds, our adversity and suffering it can become habitual which prevent a different, more positive narrative from unfolding. We must remember what we say about ourselves, what we come to believe about ourselves can often get translated into a self-fulfilling prophesy that gets acted out whether we are aware of it or not. Given the choice isn’t better to use the ‘story line‘ that can aid our growth rather than stifle it?
If we really want to accept healing change in our lives then we must move beyond seeing it as a temporary act, something we participate in as and when we feel like it. Rather we must come to accept it at the other end of the spectrum – as a way of life.
When the shadow of pain descends on our vulnerable lives, casting its darkness all over us, this is not the time to despair but instead to act positively by seeking out a space of solitude, stillness, silence and most of all patience for recuperation and eventual renewal.
Do not over burden yourself with stress when things do not pan out the way you think they should, in the time frame you lay down. As Rumi said:” When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of distress and anxiety; if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without any pain…There is a great secret in this for anyone who can grasp it.”
The journey is home……
“This search for God, this longing for meaning and understanding, while often frustrating, has given me greater acquaintance with many gods along the way – all, especially the dark ones, worthy of and demanding respect – and many good and many bad people, but always an interesting life. In the end, having a more interesting life, a life that disturbs complacency, a life that pulls us out of the comfortable and thereby demands a larger spiritual engagement than we planned or that feels comfortable, is what matters most. To have been here, to have wrestled with such things, to have lived such questions, to have kept the mystery before us, to have joyfully accepted being ‘ defeated by ever larger things. ‘ ( Rilke ) to have kept one’s appointment with destiny, to have taken one’s journey through this dark, bitter, luminous, wondrous universe, to have risked being who we really are, is, finally, what matters most.”
After Confucius, the great Chinese philosopher and teacher, died in 479 BC his many beliefs and thoughts were collated and titled THE ANALECTS. This work, although small in volume, contains profound wisdom which is still a source of inspiration for us today……
“What is past is beyond help.
What is to come is not yet lost.”
“Chi Wen Tzu always thought three times before taking action.
Twice would have been quite enough”
“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”
“The inside always manifests itself on the outside.”
“I hear and forget. I see and remember. I do and I understand.”
“When good is in danger, only a coward would not defend it.”
“You can deprive an army of its commanders, but you can never deprive a man of his will.”
“Honour your Father and Mother. Be noble in your work. Be loyal and honest to your friends. Never, and nowhere, can these laws be broken.”
“It is difficult not to complain when one is poor, but easy to be humble when rich.”
“Be correct yourself, before you correct others.”
“A great man is hard on himself. A small man is hard on others.”
“I have seen people drown and burn, but I have never seen anyone harmed by doing what is right.”
“The man who, in the view of gain thinks of righteousness, who in the view of danger is prepared to give up his life, and who does not forget an old agreement however far back it extends, such a man may be reckoned a complete man.”
“The gentleman first practices what he preaches and then preaches what he practices.”
“Do not worry if others do not understand you. Worry if you do not understand them.”
“If I give a student one corner of a subject and he cannot find the other three, the lesson is not worth teaching.”
“Going too far is as wrong as falling short.”
“In ascent or descent there is no fixed rule, except that one must do no evil. In advance or retreat no sustained perseverance avails, except that one must not depart from one’s nature. The superior man fosters his character and labours at his tasks in order to do everything at the right time. Therefore he makes no mistakes.”
“If there be righteousness in the heart,
There will be beauty in the character.
If there is beauty in the character,
There will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home,
There will be order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world”
“An inconvenience is an unrecognized opportunity.”
“Only one who bursts with enthusiasm do I instruct;
Only one who bubbles with excitement do I enlighten.
If I hold up one corner and you do not come back to me
With the other three,
I do not continue the lesson. “
Zigong asked: ” Is there any single word that could guide one’s entire life? ” The master replied: ” Should it nor be reciprocity? What you do not wish for yourself, not do to others.”
“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
“To know is to recognize what you understand and what you do not understand”
“Only the very knowledgeable and the very ignorant do not shift their ground”
Everyday try to think up a new idea that could be introduced into your life to enhance it, to push it forward. Even small changes can freshen you up and help you to feel more positive, more alive. Experiment; take a trial run on something new.
Enjoy the fruits of your work, all the effort you put in to make a better life. But never sacrifice yourself at the work alter. Work must never take us over to define us, narrow us down into some ‘ machine ‘ there solely to ‘ produce,‘ there must be a life outside of work, sufficient quality time to meet friends and family, to pursue hobbies, to relax and rest, etc. Set boundaries in place to regulate this schedule and keep to it.
Never get too disappointed when individuals let you down or upset you in other ways. People operate from their own base, from their own level of awareness and understanding so we shouldn’t really expect any more than what they can deliver.
You will never be truly happy if you do not follow your dreams trying to put in into practice what is deep inside you that needs expressing.
Regardless of what has happened in the last week, month, year, you are now in a different time zone and a different place so let go of the past and embrace the future for a new beginning, a fresh start.
The formula for life is quite simple – use all your talents, work hard.
When relationships fall apart, that creates space for new ones to develop. Always remain open for this opportunity.
When we are inspired the thought of a potential project – that contains implicit directional goals – can surface within us. It’s a feeling of a powerful presence that enters our lives and opens us up to think: This could be it! a new route to explore. This is a special opportunity and we must never waste it.
Fear can interrupt the clarity of our perceptions and undermine our self-confidence thus weakening our endeavours. Using caution when making decisions is no mean thing but to allow fear to trap us in procrastination, to hold us back in dread of giving our best efforts, paralyzing our best intentions, is no way to lead our lives.
Never be put off by failures because we can re-work them to achieve eventual breakthrough. Never forget that it’s our trying that builds our character, not our successes.
Deliberately cultivate social relationships, go out and make an effort to meet new people. Be prepared to cast a wide net and see what happens. People are more than important to our individual lives, they are vital and it’s good to recognize this reality.
Change is constant in our lives so best adapt to it.
Ask yourself when was the last time I did something for the very first time?
Act on whatever sensibly comes to mind.
We always have the potential to keep growing, to keep pushing forward into the new. Never forget this.
Underneath all the distractions, noise, anxiety and confusion is another person. The real you, the real essence that you must always return to when you forget who you are.
Look after your health – number one priority. Your body needs looking after, it needs nourishing and it needs you to be present in it. We often get too preoccupied with busy activity and forget all about trying to maintain balance then it could be a slippery slope into illness. Be careful, be mindful….
Thoughts on ageing…….“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”