Always keep your promises despite how difficult this may eventually turn out to be. Avoid at all costs engaging with ‘ sneaky ‘ tactics that deliberately try to dismiss or go back on an agreement. When we give our word on something we must keep to it. It’s all about integrity and credibility, keeping the trust that people invest in us. If you find it difficult to follow things through then be careful of what you promise. In the final analysis it’s better not to commit to something that is perceived as problematic rather than to prematurely promise that which is hard to deliver.
Don’t expect too much from others or you are bound to be disappointed. People will give only what they think is appropriate – if at all – and not what you invariably expect. Be accepting of this realizing that everyone is different. Staying attached to projected outcomes can only lead to frustration and irritation. In this situation it’s best to cultivate a mind-set of non-expectation then if someone surprises you with their positive response embrace it in the spirit of gratitude.
This is one I constantly trip over but here goes – don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them. Easily said than done but this objective is one to pursue if we are to gain balance and harmony in our lives. We have no idea what other people’s journeys are about, what they have to endure, what pain they may suffer. We only see things that appear on the surface of life, we have no real view of the depths. Also we come to it with a bias, a subjective slant that may, at times bare little reality to what is actually going on.
Try to develop the enthusiasm for being seen as the most co-operative, constructive and helpful person around. Celebrate this, let others feel these gifts in their lives, spread them far and wide. This will not only aid other’s development but importantly, yours as well.
Be grateful – this is the secret of a contented existence. It’s all about developing perspective, cultivating balance on how we view life. Everything we are given, including our very own existence is a gift although we might often forget this profound truth. Life is a gift, we don’t earn it, work for it, we can’t demand it or buy it. It’s a gift! When we fully realize this truth, hold it closely to our chest to feel its full weight then we have no alternative but to be deeply appreciative.
Life, very often isn’t fair – accept this reality and work with it in the best way you can. Pain, suffering, adversity, targets everyone at some point, this is an undeniable truth that we simply cannot ignore. However, we can work with these issues; we can apply ourselves mindfully and committedly to finding solutions to turn things around, or we can find an inner centre deep within ourselves where we can open up to acceptance and accommodation. The real power resides with us, never forget this….
We can spend so much time and energy searching in the external world for happiness vis a vis a new car, house, job, partner, whatever we are chasing at the time and completely forget that happiness, a deep abiding happiness, is largely a product of our own minds – the attitudes we bring to the world. If we can access the qualities of reflection, perspective and appreciation then the gift of a lasting happiness will not be too far away. Yes, there is a short-term, temporary happiness that can found in many activities, in acquiring many new ‘ things, ‘ but it is incumbent on us to go after the real thing – the one that lies within us…
Act generously; give what you think is right then give more. Mean spirit-ness is a very unattractive attribute that keeps us locked in selfhood. It means we cannot see the bigger picture, cannot contribute to the greater whole. Many individuals have experimented with the notion of Random Acts of Kindness – giving to strangers or virtual strangers, and have felt the whole experience to be of great benefit not only to the receivers but the givers themselves. Generosity – whether with money or time – brings out the best in us so don’t pass up on the opportunity to show how considerate you are.
In times of prolonged busy activity where we are under pressure ( real or perceived ) the body can let us down or even fail completely, although the mind is saying continue. Try to pick up an early warning signal on these moments of stressfulness and bring your attention to your breathing, vocalizing just one word to yourself – relax. Stay focussed on the breath, deep, regular, calming. Stay in this space for as long as you can allowing any residual anxiety to melt away. You are in a special place where time as no real meaning what Eliot called “ …the still point of the turning world.”
Experiment with your life; investigate the way you do things if only on a small scale in order to keep yourself fresh. As a normal late riser, I recently experimented with getting up early on a regular basis – it shifted my entire day for the better. I was really surprise how it deepened the quality of my sleep and affected my diet in a positive way. We all need to challenge ourselves, look at our lives and see what can be freshened up or re-invented. Even if the outcomes are not always to our expectations they will give us insights from which we can learn – new ideas that can improve our routine of taken for granted everydayness.
Be polite and courteous to everyone you meet. Engage with people; get to know neighbours and others that you normally don’t engage with. Say a simple hello, inquire after them, show that you are interested in their lives. People are important – express that in your dealings with them.
Don’t wait for the ‘ right ‘ opportunities to just ‘ happen ‘ mysteriously out of the blue – go and find them, go and MAKE them. Every situation has inherent opportunities buried inside it somewhere, find them. The key here is persistence, we must be prepared to stay fresh and energized constantly on the lookout for those moments we can seize in order to make the changes we want in our lives. Inevitably this means working through self-doubt, uncertainty, challenge, etc but that’s where the treasures are buried. We may very well see ourselves as lacking ‘ talent,’ but that’s OK provided we push on, trying to undertake our very best then achievements will materialize. Always remember that ‘ talent ’ is the net result of sustained effort – stay with it.
Cras es Noster – The future is ours….